


Your Eyes Haunt Me

by romeoandjulietyouwish



Series: Lis Writes Mighty Nein [21]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Female Friendship, Gen, Hallucinations, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Jester Lavorre Needs a Hug, Protective Beauregard Lionett
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-20
Updated: 2021-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-29 00:00:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30147612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romeoandjulietyouwish/pseuds/romeoandjulietyouwish
Summary: Jester is the victim of a magic-induced hallucination that has her questioning her relationship with Fjord.
Relationships: Fjord/Jester Lavorre, Jester Lavorre & Beauregard Lionett
Series: Lis Writes Mighty Nein [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2026874
Comments: 3
Kudos: 32





	Your Eyes Haunt Me

**Author's Note:**

> The idea for this came from the incredible Steam & Eyre Franken-Punk one shot by SomewhereBound.

The last few weeks have tested the Mighty Nein far past what they were prepared for. So it’s a huge relief when they drag their feet into the Xhorhouse. They’re all tired to the bones, each day seeming longer than the one before. As everyone splits up, Fjord gives Jester a quick kiss on the cheek before following Caduceus upstairs and to the roof. 

Jester takes a few minutes in the kitchen to get some food before heading up the stairs to her bedroom. It used to be her and Beau’s bedroom, but for the past few weeks, Beau’s been rooming with Yasha more often than not. Since Jester’s been down a roommate, Fjord of course was more than happy to finally get to share a room with her. 

When she walks into their bedroom, Fjord is already there, sitting on their bed. When she walks in and shuts the door, he smiles. Jester grins, “I thought you were going with Caduceus to the roof?” 

He shrugs, “I’d rather be with you.” Fjord walks over to her and pulls her close, “There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Okay,” Jester kisses him quickly before stepping back. “What’s up?”

“I-I know this is probably a bit too forward, but,” he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a ring made of wood with the symbols of the Traveler and Wildmother on opposite sides of the band, “I had this made for you.” 

Jester’s eyes widen and she breaks into a smile, “Fjord, are you proposing?” 

He nods and sinks to one knee, “I am. Jester, I am completely enamored with you, I have been since I met you. I would gladly go on and on, listing every single thing I love about you, but there’s just one thing I need to ask you. Will you marry me?” 

“Yes!” Jester squeals, “Of course, I will. I love you, Fjord!” 

As she leans down to kiss him, he starts to laugh. Not his normal laugh, something darker, crueler. Jester pulls back in confusion and he looks up at her with disbelief. “Did you really believe I’d want to marry you?” 

She takes a slight step back, a sinking feeling in her chest. “Fjord, what-”

Fjord stands, “Come on, Jester. This whole thing has been a joke. I can’t believe you never figured it out. No one will ever love you like that, you’re too childish and too immature.” He leans intimidatingly over her. “No one would ever want to marry you. I know I don’t.” Jester takes a step back, her vision clouded from tears. “No one will ever love you, Jester.”

“Why are you saying that?” Jester asks, almost unable to speak through her tears. “You love me.” 

He chuckles deeply, “I’m a pretty good actor, huh? Let me spell this out for you, Jessie.” She flinches at the nickname. “I have never loved you and no one ever will.” He scoffs. “You read too many fairy tales.” 

“Stop.” Jester puts a hand to her chest as though trying to stop a bleeding wound. That’s what it feels like. It feels like she’s been shot in the chest with an arrow. She can hardly see through her tears. “Stop.” 

“All I’m doing is telling you the truth. It’s time someone did. You should be thanking me.” Fjord’s eyes turn pitch black and he vanishes into a cloud of thick black smoke that dissipates after a second. 

Jester immediately collapses to the floor, sobbing. It wasn’t real, Jester tells herself, but it felt like it was. Fjord doesn’t love her. No one loves her. She clutches at her chest, trying to find a wound that isn’t there. It hurts so much that it feels like there should be one. Sobs echo through her chest, so loud that she knows the others in the Xhorhouse are bound to hear it. But she can’t help it, it hurts too much. 

The door behind her opens. “Jester?” 

She whips her head around to see Fjord standing in the doorway, Beau behind him. She lifts a shaking hand towards him as he walks into the room, “Please don’t. Fjord, I-” Jester cuts herself off as she sobs, putting a hand over her mouth. 

Fjord’s brow furrows and he moves quickly into the room towards her, his hands outstretched. Jester scrambles away from him until her back hits the bed. “Please,” she whispers. The rest of her words die in her throat. She hears footsteps and Beau appears at Fjord’s shoulder. Jester immediately shrinks, curling her knees up to her chest, but her eyes remain on Fjord. 

“Get away from her, Fjord,” Beau says, her voice low and protective. Beau stands between her and Fjord, her muscles tense. “Whatever’s going on you’re making it worse. Get out.” 

Fjord doesn’t acknowledge Beau and looks past her to Jester. “I’m sorry,” he says softly. The pain on his face is almost unbearable, Jester almost is relieved when he turns around and walks out of their room, closing the door behind him. 

Immediately, Jester’s sobs double. She curls herself into an even smaller ball, hiding her face. Beau approaches her tentatively, making noise as she walks so Jester knows she’s there. Beau kneels down beside Jester and gently touches her shoulder. She jumps a little at the contact but doesn’t pull away. 

“What’s going on, Jes?” Beau asks softly.

“It wasn’t real. It-It wasn’t,” Jester tells her tearfully, her face still buried in her arms. 

“What wasn’t real?” Jester just shakes her head as she cries, unable to form the words. She doesn’t think she’s ever seen Jester this distraught. “Okay,” Beau says kindly. “It’s okay. Can I hug you?” Jester nods and Beau immediately pulls the smaller girl into a hug. 

Jester holds her tight, sobbing in the monk’s chest as Beau rubs her hands up and down her back. Beau rests her back against the bed frame, it digs into her back and the floor is nowhere near comfortable, but Jester is still weeping into her arms. Jester is half sitting in her lap, leaning against Beau’s shoulder. Eventually, Jester’s sobs diminish. Jester holds the hug a few more seconds before pulling back. 

“Come on,” Beau tugs a little on Jester’s sleeve. “Let’s sit somewhere more comfortable. Jester just nods and lets Beau help her to her feet and sit down on the bed. Jester crawls to the middle, sitting cross-legged facing Beau. 

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” Beau asks once they’re both settled. 

Jester nods. She uses her sleeves to wipe away her tears and takes a moment to collect herself before she starts. “I saw Fjord or a-a fake Fjord?” Jester shakes her head, “I don’t know. But he-he proposed to me. But when I said yes he laughed at me and told me that he was never in love with me and that no one would ever love me.” Tears run down Jester’s face and Beau puts a hand on her shoulder. “Then his eyes turned black and he disappeared.” 

“That fucking witch,” Beau spits. But she stops herself, anger won’t help Jester right now. Beau touches Jester’s hand. “You know Fjord would never do that, right?” 

Jester nods, “I know that. But…” 

Beau sighs and pulls Jester to lean against her side. Jester immediately leans into the affection. “Yeah, I know. Do you want to talk to him? I’m sure he’s not far.” 

Jester shakes her head. “I don’t think I’m ready yet.” Beau nods and rubs her arm. “Can you just stay with me? I don’t want to be alone if it happens again.” Beau gives her a sad smile and nods.

Beau lays back against the bed and lets Jester cuddle up against her. The tiefling does so immediately. Jester puts her head on Beau’s shoulder and curls her knees up to Beau’s stomach. Beau is closest to the door and she wraps her arms around Jester so that she’s even more hidden from it. 

“Beau?” Jester asks tentatively. Beau rubs her back so she knows she’s listening. “Can you play with my hair? Mama used to do that and I-”

“You don’t have to explain, Jes,” Beau assures her. She moves her hand from Jester’s back to her hair and begins to run her fingers through the short strands. Jester makes a pleased noise and settles deeper against Beau’s chest. Beau feels Jester’s soft breath as she begins to fall asleep. The tiefling is finally fast asleep after about 15 minutes. 

“Beau!” She hears Veth’s voice in her head. “Is everything alright? Fjord said something was wrong with Jester.” 

Beau looks down at the sleeping tiefling, “I’ve got her. She’s…” Beau shakes her head and starts over. “Do you remember the witch?” 

“The one we fought a few days ago?” 

“Yeah, remember how she did something to Jester, but she seemed fine after?” Beau sighs. “I think I know what it was.” 

“Is she okay?” 

“Physically,” Beau tells Veth. “Tell Fjord that we’ll talk in the morning.” She doesn’t get another message from Veth, so she assumes that she passed on the message. With Jester fast asleep, Beau allows herself to sleep. But she forces herself to sleep lightly, jerking awake at Jester’s movements and sleep talk. 

When Jester wakes up in the morning, someone’s arms are around her. Her first thought is of Fjord. It’s not unusual for Jester to wake up from Fjord pulling her against his chest or running his fingers through her hair. Then she remembers last night, everything that happened. She opens her eyes and finds her still wrapped in Beau’s arms. The monk’s head is resting on top of her own, Jester’s head on her chest. 

The second Jester lifts her head, Beau’s eyes flash open. “You good?” She asks, voice slightly hoarse. Jester nods and rubs her eyes sleepily.

“Thank you for staying with me,” Jester says quietly. She leans back to look at Beau but remains cuddled up with her.

“Of course, you were pretty freaked out and with good reason. I wouldn’t have left you alone even if you told me to.” 

Jester smiles, “You’re a good friend.” 

“And you have a very worried boyfriend downstairs.” 

Jester looks down, “Everyone else too, huh?” 

“Yeah,” Beau reaches out and squeezes her hand. “But you don’t have to talk to everyone if you don’t want to. I can catch them up to speed. You can just talk to Fjord if you want.” 

“Thank you,” Jester squeezes her hand. “Can I talk to him in here?” Jester asks. 

“Of course,” Beau squeezes her hand back. “Whatever you need. Do you want me to go get him?” 

“Yeah,” Jester sits up. “Might as well get this over with.” As Beau stands up, she leans over and kisses the top of Jester’s head. The tiefling immediately grins at the unusual affection. “It’s going to be fine.” 

Fjord walks into the room, knocking gently on the door frame as he does. Jester is sitting in the middle of their bed, blankets pooled around her waist. Her hair is still poofy from sleep, not having brushed it yet. But what draws Fjord’s attention is the dark circles under her eyes and the way her arms are wrapped around her stomach. Instead of going to her side like he would, he lingers by the door after shutting it. 

“You can come here,” Jester says softly. He follows her direction and sits on the edge of her bed, making sure to give her space. 

“Jester, what’s going on? I’m really worried about you.” 

“I know,” Jester says. She reaches across the bed to take his hand and pulls him a little closer to her. “I’m sorry.” 

He shakes his head, “You don’t need to be. Nott said it had something to do with that witch?” 

Jester nods, “She made me see you, or a version of you. You...proposed to me. But then you started saying that you never really loved me and that I’m too childish and immature and that no one would ever love me in the way I wanted them too and I was going to be alone forever-” 

“Breathe,” Fjord tells her. She nods and takes a deep breath. 

“You-You said all these awful things and I-I know it wasn’t real, but it felt so real.” Jester takes an almost pained breath. “Fjord, I’m sorry, but I need to know. This,” she gestures between the two of them, “is real right?” 

“Gods yes, Jester,” Fjord says earnestly. He touches her hand. “I love you so much, I would never lie about that. All the things I feel for you are absolutely real.” 

Jester takes his hand, “I love you too.” 

“I’m sorry I scared you last night,” Fjord says. “I didn’t mean to, I just wanted to help you and you looked so scared. I didn’t realize it was me you were scared of.” 

“I know,” Jester tells him. She moves closer to him so her knee touches his. “Fjord, can you give me a hug?” 

Fjord doesn’t say anything. He just pulls Jester into his arms. She nearly falls against his chest, feeling safe and cared for in his strong(ish) arms. Fjord rests his cheek on the top of her head between her horns. They sit like that for a long while, Fjord occasionally murmuring loving affirmations to her. 

When Jester pulls away, Fjord takes her face in his hands and presses a soft kiss to her lips and then a kiss to both of her cheeks, her forehead, and finally her nose, making her giggle and lean back into his chest. 

“I love you,” Fjord says, holding her against him for a moment longer. 

She looks up at him with her big violet eyes and smiles, though it doesn’t quite reach her eyes, not yet. But she leans up to kiss his jaw and says, “I love you too.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated! 
> 
> Tumblr- @romeoandjulietyouwish


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